


Damaged Goods

by Kittyswriting



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 04:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4087537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyswriting/pseuds/Kittyswriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is awake and spends the night thinking about how he got to be in a relationship with two men and how those two men taught him what love is and how to accept it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damaged Goods

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Hello, again. Another little one shot, this is my first time writing for my favorite OT3, so hopefully it works. All of it is in Tony's POV, and how he learned how to be loved.  
> Word prompt: learning to be loved.

Tony Stark never grew up in a very loving home, it wasn't a bad home. He always had food in his stomach and clothes on his back, but it wasn't exactly a home filled with love and it was barely even a home. Tony spent more time in boarding school than he did his home. His parents weren't exactly overly showy with their affection for one another either, not around Tony at least.

Love just wasn't something he had in his home, and maybe that was okay? He always had plenty of everything else, plenty of clothes, toys, food, it seemed petty to complain about this one thing. Especially considering so many others had it worse. So what if he didn't feel the most loved? He was Tony Stark, he was strong enough to love himself. Even if no one else did.

As he got older it became easier and easier to fool people into thinking he liked who he was. To hide behind a mask of cockiness and overconfidence. People saw what they wanted to believe, it was so much easier to have them believe he was this egotistical narcissist, than who he truly was.

But then the Avengers happened, and suddenly he had more friends, more people to care about other than Rhodey and Pepper. He had a team, he had people and that scared the living shit out of him. Suddenly he had people that wanted to spend time with him, to make sure he ate right, to make sure he didn't get too hurt. That had been hard, but he managed to accept it eventually. He no longer ran from them because he wasn't use to feeling like people genuinely cared for him.

Then Steve happened, wonderful, amazing Steve. He saw something in Tony, became his best friend, other than Rhodey of course, and screw anyone that said you couldn't have more than one best friend. Steve was so caring and he tried to protect Tony even though Tony needed no protection. They weren't together, because Tony couldn't do that to Steve. He couldn't hurt Steve by being well himself. He didn't know how to do relationships, he tried that with Pepper and it ended terribly. So they were just best friends, and they could be happy with that right?

But then Bucky came along, and Tony hated him. At first he absolutely hated him. Because this was the guy that killed his parents, and logically he knew it wasn't Bucky's fault, knew Bucky wasn't in control of himself and that he had been brainwashed by HYDRA. However emotionally he still couldn't detach himself from the fact that Bucky had murdered his family.

Then the strangest thing of all happened...

It was a Avengers bonding movie night, it was Steve's turn to choose the movie, they ended up watching First Blood and he had invited Bucky to join them and it had been going well, mostly. Until Steve asked him why he was sat so far away, and couldn't he please try to get along with Bucky like the other Avengers?

Tony was lost for words, mostly because he thought he was doing fairly well and also because this was so unlike Steve. But it turned out he didn't have to have any words because Bucky had plenty for Steve.

"Steve, chill the fuck out." Bucky said turning to Steve.

"Bucky you've been through a lot I just want you to hav-

"I murdered the guy's parents, I killed them in cold blood whether I was brainwashed or not it was my face and my hands that did it." Bucky said interrupting Steve.

"That wasn't your fault, it was HYDRA's and Ton-"

"Is trying. He fixed my arm, he's given me a place to stay, he's sitting in the same room as his parent's murderer and watching a movie with him. He's trying Steve, and I don't deserve it. I don't deserve that kind of forgiveness and understanding. So I'm not going to just sit back and let you say he should get along with me. I know you're tired, I know you haven't slept but Tony sure as hell doesn't deserve the way you're treating him!" Bucky said his voice raised and walking out of the room only for Steve to follow.

A few hours later when Tony was working on his new suit Steve came down to his lab and apologized. The two of them ended up talking for a while and Steve talked about how stressed he'd been, how he'd been so worried about Bucky and waiting for him to leave again. Tony listened and tried to help, he sometimes forgot just how young Steve really was and reassured him that Bucky wasn't going to go anywhere. Because he was Tony Stark and he could totally make promises like that.

Tony didn't magically become friends with Bucky after that but it helped. If anyone understood about having a lot of deaths on their conscience it was him. He would never be able to forgive himself for the deaths he himself caused, over time he and Bucky became friends. But it took a lot of time and understanding for both of them.

It was a few months after that, when both Steve and Bucky came out to the team and admitted they were in a relationship with each other. The team seemed surprised that Steve was in fact bisexual except for Tony of course he already knew that. He was happy for them both, he had a feeling the two of them would end up together. But he couldn't help the tiny part of himself that still liked Steve and was kind of jealous. It was for the best though, Tony was a grenade. He was a ticking time bomb that ran from love the way most people ran from danger. Steve and Bucky were so perfect for each other, Steve was happy and that's all Tony ever needed.

But then things got even more complicated, because of course things can never be easy for Tony. The universe seemed to have it out for him, maybe it was karma. For whatever reason Tony's life got harder. He liked Steve he always knew that, but lately he started having similar feelings for his best friend's boyfriend. Bucky was just so charming and once Tony started to accept what he had done and move past it he really started to like having Bucky around and Steve seemed overjoyed at the fact they were becoming close. But then Tony being Tony had to develop feelings for Bucky, so he did the only other thing he knows how to do. He spiraled.

He started spending all his time in his lab, he ate less, slept less, and worked more. Eventually his body couldn't take it and he collapsed. When he woke up again he was in his own bed and he had a whole team looking at him with a mixture of worried, confused, and maybe even a little bit angry faces.

They reprimanded him, forced him to eat. Bruce had this big talk with him about how important he was to him which was really very sweet. Natasha and Clint threatened to force him to move in with them next time he even thought about doing something so stupid, which was really kind of tempting. Thor went all puppy dog eyes on him and held his hand, it was really kind of heartbreaking. sam looked like he didn't know what to say, which wasn't surprising. The kid was new to the Avengers and other than upgrading his wings they hadn't spent much time together.

Bucky and Steve didn't say anything, not until the three of them were all alone. Bucky than proceeded to yell at him for being stupid and wonder why he had done this. He had been so angry and upset, then Steve who had the look of a worried mother told him that they didn't want to lose him. When he told them it wasn't really that big of a deal Bucky answered by kissing him.

That had shocked him, he had expected Steve to start yelling only for the other man to take his hand and tell him that both him and Bucky cared about him. That when JARVIS told them Tony had collapsed they both raced to the lab and were devastated to see him lying there so still and silent. That they both had feelings for him, and this whole thing made them not want to waste another moment. Tony didn't say anything, part of him wanted to run, the other part of him wanted to push them away, warn them how much of a bad idea this was. But he didn't.  
After a few days of thinking about what the others had said he talked to Bucky and Steve. Because so far running was only killing him, and he fought too hard and for too long to just give up on himself now. He was a Stark, a fighter, a survivor.

That night he went to Steve and Bucky's shared room, the two of them seemed shocked to see him and he sat on their bed and breathed in mentally preparing himself.

"I am a grenade, I'm a ticking time bomb. If the two of you ever want me to be involved in whatever this thing is you have to understand how difficult this will be. I don't know how to do relationships, I've tried and I always do something wrong. I'm broken and damaged. I was vivisected, my chest doesn't work as well since then. The reactor stops me from dying but it causes a few other problems too." Tony sighed when he saw the look of worry in their faces.

"I don't know how to be loved. My parents never loved each other, or if they did I never saw it. I don't know how a relationship works, not a healthy one at least. I've had a few relationships and other than Pepper they weren't exactly healthy. I am a walking grenade of problems and issues, I don't want to blow up in your faces." Tony got up from the bed only to be stopped by Steve's hand on his shoulder.

"Tony, me and Bucky have talked about this. We want you, I've loved you for a very long time just as much as I love Bucky." Steve said his voice so soft and almost pleading.

"He's right Tony, both of us have grown to care about you and we don't want to see you with anyone else. I know you said you're a grenade well so am I. I still have some of the Winter Soldier programming in my head, I'm terrified that one day it'll come out and I'll hurt someone. I get nightmares about everything I've done, about the war, about the brainwashing. I'm scared so often, but having Steve helps. He holds me and he loves me, and he makes me feel better about myself." Bucky said his hands going up to Tony's cheeks holding them.

"All three of us have our issues Tony, every person in the world no matter how perfect they seem has some issue. You are so loved Tony, I love you so does Bucky and so does every person in this tower. I know you said you don't know how to be in a relationship, or how to be loved. Let us teach you. Let us show you what it means to be in a healthy relationship. We want to look after you, if you'll let us?" Steve moved his hand so it was running down Tony's back.

Tony didn't know why, didn't understand but for some reason he said yes. Because maybe just maybe Steve and Bucky gave him hope. So he stayed the night, he didn't want to be alone anymore, and if anyone could handle him it was the two super soldiers in bed with him. Things weren't perfect, they fought, Tony ran and hid more times than he could count. Which was very high he was a genius after all. But they always went to go find him, they never abandoned him. He helped them and they helped him, and together they worked.

And now Tony could honestly say he loved them, these two soldiers taught Tony what it truly meant to love and be loved. He figured out that maybe he'd been loved all along, he just hadn't known how to accept it. He had ran from it and made excuses not to see it because he didn't want to be loved, because if he was never loved then he'd never be hurt by them. He was afraid of being hurt, he had trusted so many people and so many of them had let him down. But he was done running, now he had Bucky and Steve.

They didn't magically make years and years of issues melt away. But they fought, they fought for him, and being with them and feeling loved by them helped him find the strength to confront his past and the things that kept him awake at night.

It was almost a year since that night when he first accepted Steve and Bucky's love, and Tony could honestly say that they had helped him learn what it truly meant to be loved. It wasn't like the movies, it wasn't even like the books.

It was something uniquely personal, love was something indescribable and beautiful, and Tony was really lucky. Because he had two beautiful men that loved him so openly and being wrapped around them Tony truly felt loved and he knew he never wanted to be anywhere else.

"I love you, both of you."


End file.
